| Location | Dover, Kent |
| Age | 40 years |
| Cause of Death | Suicide |
| Date of Birth | 27/10/1965 |
| Date of Death | 29/06/2006 |
| Visitors | 9,213 since 20/09/2007 |
| Creator |
Shane Walker was born in Oxford UK in oct 1965 and lived there all his life.
At the age of 39 he moved to Dover, Kent to be near myself (his mother), and his sister who had moved there three years previously.
He was a middle son for many years, having an older and a younger sister. When he was 15 I remarried and he had a younger brother whom he loved very much.
He passed away, aged 40 on June 29th 2006 , by his own hand, when life all got too much for him and he decided to leave this world.
He had two serious relationships in his life producing two sons. At the time of his death they were aged 9 and 19yrs. He had regular contact with both boys and remained on friendly terms with the mothers after they had split up.
He had a great sense of humour, he liked cooking and liked to cook for friends to show off his skills. He loved animals and had a dog for many years. Sadly he had witnessed many tragedies throughout his life involving people he knew and close friends. He was unable to cope with life without resorting to drugs or drink to see him through. He had no confidence in himself no matter how often people tried to instill confidence in him. He felt embarrassed and tongue tied if he had to talk to anyone on the phone, he hated job interviews because he felt he was useless.
He did varies jobs though such as builders labourer.
MY POEM
He was born October twenty seven
A little Angel sent from Heaven
Cute and blonde, he was so fine
My darling son, mine all mine.
But as he grew...hear him roar!
Sent neighbours knocking on my door!
Always fighting other boys
Always breaking up their toys!
Teachers sending letters to me
You, his mother, we must see!
'Your son has attitude, its true
so whats his mother going to do?'
I said 'whatever you advise,
I want my boy to grow up wise'
Without exams, he left the school
Wouldn't follow any rule
When his best friend fell from a height
Shane was there and saw the sight
Of his friend in his death throes
Blood pouring from ears and nose.
From then on Shane's life was cursed
Everything went from bad to worse
A failed relationship produced a son
and 10 yrs later, another one.
Drugs took over and he lost all hope
Life got too much, he couldn't cope
He came to me, and things were fine
But, drugs and drinking too much wine
Caused rows and arguments between him and I
we couldn't get on and I would sigh.
He had to leave, he had to go
I could not cope, I told him so.
I just wanted him to live a better life
To find a nice girl to be his wife
But he despaired that this could not be
and so he walked away from me
The police knocked upon my door
I almost fell upon the floor
A body has been found, they said.
I'm sorry but your son is dead.
*************************
Shane...there will be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover, someday just wait and see
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I was looking for a reason
why God sent you to me
or was it just the season
for love to come for free?
Or did you choose me for a mother
As you waited to be sent
Did you really want no other
Or were you only lent?
Why leave me with such greiving tears
When you decided 'no....
I've reached the end of all my years
Its time for me to go'?
What was it, babe, that I did wrong
How did I hurt you so?
that you did not want to stay too long
And really had to go.
I looked into your deep blue eyes
But I could not see your pain
I was not good or very wise
To help you once again..
You sadly pulled away
I did not see you cry
Now I weep and ask myself
Why did I never try?
I never understood you,
I never really saw
The hard times that you lived through
til you walked right out that door
You never did come home
you went away for good
So I'm writing you this poem
Cos, too late, I understood.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Shane, You Mom is keeping you warm in her heart as she brings you with her into this new year. She misses you so.
Sharon ... mom of Rob ... POS
Debbie Polidora
Dearest Shane,
Thank you for sending your Mom that sign the other day when she was in town and heard "Chasing Cars" coming out of the sports store. She got it loud and clear! Please keep letting her know that you are always with her.
Love,
Debbie, Mom to ^i^Joey (10-31-81-6-20-08),
Lorin, Mike, and Greg
Your birthday
Thinking of you today and every day Shane but this special day you would have been 46. We love and miss you.
Mum
xxx
Don't grieve for me now, for now I'm free.
I'm following the God laid for me.
I took God's hand when I heard the call;
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I found that place at the close of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
Ah, yes, these things, I too, will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief;
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me -
God wanted me now, God set me free.
Your Birthday, Shane
Today you would have been 45. But you will never age to me. Always young and handsome, a beautiful boy who couldn't cope with life as most people could.
I will never accept your death but I have learned to live with it and I think of you all the time
love
Mum
xxxxx
These words still mean so much on this the anniversary of your death
You may not think the world needed you, but it did. For you were unique: like no one that has ever been before or will come after. No one can speak with your voice; say your piece; smile your smile; or shine your light. No one can take your place for it was yours alone to fill. Because you are not here to shine your light, who knows how many travelers will lose their way as they try to pass by your empty place in the darkness
I Knew
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.
--Anonymous from the Internet
No Happy Returns today Shane on this your birthday. You left us 3 years ago but I still think about you constantly and shed tears. I remember your sense of humour and you did make us laugh. I wish everything could have been different but we cant change the past. So many regrets, So many 'if onlys'
I love you son.
Don't judge me for how I left this world,
Remember the love I gave
A lot of grief will follow me
For the decision that I made
Changes appear in everyone's life
Some good, some bad
The one I chose for myself
Made everyone very sad
But in time the memories will heal the hurt of hearts
And my presence will be felt by all with an inner peace
Remember me when the sun is bright and laughter fills the air
And a moonlit night and a whisper of wind
Will tell you I am there
Don't look down on my family
Or fill their hearts with blame
For my leaving them without good-byes
Has left them so much pain
If I could go back in time
I would say a last good-bye
I would tell them to look to tomorrow
And for me.please do not cry."
author unknown.
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